What to Expect in your First Month of Separation
When a separation happens, we know to expect one of the most difficult times in any person’s life. It will be emotional. It will bring change and disruption to usual routines. It will be hard on you and those around you, especially children.
There’s no way to make it easy, but you can help yourself get through it by preparing yourself as much as possible for what’s to come.
Here are some strategies to help you cope through the early stages so you can thrive later:
Take care of yourself
If you make a point of self-care, you'll handle things better and be more useful to those who depend on you. Make sure to get enough sleep and keep up with a routine for eating and exercising. Consider engaging in counselling or some form of therapy to assist you, and consider what help your children (if any) may also need.
Be kind to yourself - and, if possible, your ex.
Be mindful of what you say and who hears you
Separation is an emotionally charged time, where the smallest perceived slight can cause unnecessary drama and headaches. There will be times when you'd like to vent, but be careful not to let anyone hear or read anything you might regret.
Be particularly careful of what your children might overhear. They’re innocent bystanders in this, so protect them from anything that might confuse or complicate matters.
Take your time
Provided there are no safety concerns or urgent financial considerations, there’s no hurry. Don’t rush into major decisions or do anything rash from a place of emotion. Take time to process your feelings and work through them.
Ask yourself some questions: How are you feeling about the separation? What’s working for you right now? What advice would you give to someone else in this situation?
Once you’ve done this, you’ll feel clearer about the path ahead and better prepared to deal with any further challenges.
Educate yourself about your combined financial interests
Knowing what's what will help guide you through the process. Make sure you have access to relevant banking and financial information, and start gathering details that might be important, such as superannuation information, income, assets, and liabilities.
Although it may seem daunting at first, it will pay off in the long run.
Get trusted advice from knowledgeable sources
By all means, lean on friends for practical help and emotional support. However, it's crucial that you don't accept legal advice as fact from your neighbour or that well-meaning friend at the school gate. Speak to people who are qualified to speak on the subject at hand.
A separation is a significant life change. There'll most likely be moments when you feel negative, even hopeless, but by arming yourself with these strategies, you can find structure and clarity to ground you and steer you clear of potential hazards. Hopefully, this will make difficult times easier.
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